Well this week I’m veering off course. My intended project was a homemade picnic blanket one side being a vinyl and waterproof the other side a pretty fabric. But my sewing machine had other ideas when it kaputzed on me. So I am going to share with you instead another summer project my family has been doing. It’s not really on the fun scale but I’m sure that a lot of you are dealing with the same thing right now. Sibling conflict and the I don’t wanna’s seem to rear their head in the less structured summer. So Papa Pollo and I set out to nip this in the bud.
When you have5 people home all the time the house get’s quickly cluttered and messy. I know for myself and the kids this can lead to a feeling of being overwhelmed. When we are overwhelmed we tend to respond emotionally to situations rather than with self control or logic. So keeping the house picked up was our first order of business.
Earlier this year Ducky sent me a link to Chore Zones for Kids by Trigger Memory Systems. I absolutely loved the idea. But being the frugal Mommy that I am I wasn’t eager to run out and spend money on something that I thought I could create on my own. I borrowed the idea of a list for each room with step by step instructions on how to complete the job. I created a list for bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and getting clean. These are our daily zones. I also made additional zones that I will use as needed such as front porch/back porch, shoe room, and a monthly list. I tailored the cards to each child as much as I could. For example Big Chick is 8 and can read. Middle Little is 5 and cannot read yet. I used pictures to help explain the task for Middle Little so she too can complete a job without having to ask every five seconds what to do next. For Big Chick she has two additional tasks in her bedroom. Not only is she older but she tends to have more “stuff” than Middle Little. So it seemed appropriate to give her a little extra. I’ve broken up the day into morning and night time chores. In the morning they do Bedroom, Getting Clean and Kitchen lists. At night time they do Getting Clean and Bathroom lists. It has made a huge difference in the visual clutter as well as Poppa and I feeling overwhelmed by constantly trying to keep up after 5 people. I feel that we are teaching them valuable lessons in team work, life skills and that many hands make light work. The second day after we started using our zone lists Middle Little said “Wow Mom there was hardly anything to do tonight, that’s because we did some yesterday.” It must be sinking in somehow, some way.
Now to tackle the real beast. The I don’t wanna’s, the sibling arguing that makes you want to beat your head against a wall. I desire so strongly for my children to have loving relationships with each other. I may not be able to make my children each other’s best friends but I can have an expectation of respect for each other in our home. With that in mind we were blessed to discover John Rosemond’s newest book The Well Behaved Child. We have long been aware of Mr. Rosemond and his no nonsense parenting style; have most of his books in fact. But this particular book spoke to us for where we are right now.
After reading the book together we instituted Mr. Rosemonds Ticket System. This link is a very basic over view of the idea and I highly recommend that you read the book to use this tool to its fullest. I used 3 envelopes as pockets. They have each of the big girl’s names as well as one labeled parents. The girls have 5 tickets with their names on them and they begin the day with ownership of all those tickets. We have a list next to each of their pockets reminding them of the behaviors that will cause them to lose a ticket. Because of age and capability our oldest has 4 things on her list and Middle Little has 2. We have our system placed in our toy/classroom area. It’s our most lived in space and I wanted it close at hand. When the kids have lost all of their tickets for the day they know that means they are grounded to their room and will be sent to bed directly after dinner. It takes some commitment, some clear communication between parents and a willingness to follow through, but it’s helping. We are a work in progress here at Clucky Central but I’m thankful for the guidance found in the book and can’t recommend it highly enough.
Although these two systems definitely don’t fall in the fun spectrum for the kids they do in a roundabout way enable us to have our Summer fun. When we treat each other and our home with respect we are free to go out and enjoy the world around us.
Are you experiencing the Summer I don’t wanna’s and Sibling Conflict? How are you handling it in your home?
When you have5 people home all the time the house get’s quickly cluttered and messy. I know for myself and the kids this can lead to a feeling of being overwhelmed. When we are overwhelmed we tend to respond emotionally to situations rather than with self control or logic. So keeping the house picked up was our first order of business.
Earlier this year Ducky sent me a link to Chore Zones for Kids by Trigger Memory Systems. I absolutely loved the idea. But being the frugal Mommy that I am I wasn’t eager to run out and spend money on something that I thought I could create on my own. I borrowed the idea of a list for each room with step by step instructions on how to complete the job. I created a list for bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and getting clean. These are our daily zones. I also made additional zones that I will use as needed such as front porch/back porch, shoe room, and a monthly list. I tailored the cards to each child as much as I could. For example Big Chick is 8 and can read. Middle Little is 5 and cannot read yet. I used pictures to help explain the task for Middle Little so she too can complete a job without having to ask every five seconds what to do next. For Big Chick she has two additional tasks in her bedroom. Not only is she older but she tends to have more “stuff” than Middle Little. So it seemed appropriate to give her a little extra. I’ve broken up the day into morning and night time chores. In the morning they do Bedroom, Getting Clean and Kitchen lists. At night time they do Getting Clean and Bathroom lists. It has made a huge difference in the visual clutter as well as Poppa and I feeling overwhelmed by constantly trying to keep up after 5 people. I feel that we are teaching them valuable lessons in team work, life skills and that many hands make light work. The second day after we started using our zone lists Middle Little said “Wow Mom there was hardly anything to do tonight, that’s because we did some yesterday.” It must be sinking in somehow, some way.
Now to tackle the real beast. The I don’t wanna’s, the sibling arguing that makes you want to beat your head against a wall. I desire so strongly for my children to have loving relationships with each other. I may not be able to make my children each other’s best friends but I can have an expectation of respect for each other in our home. With that in mind we were blessed to discover John Rosemond’s newest book The Well Behaved Child. We have long been aware of Mr. Rosemond and his no nonsense parenting style; have most of his books in fact. But this particular book spoke to us for where we are right now.
After reading the book together we instituted Mr. Rosemonds Ticket System. This link is a very basic over view of the idea and I highly recommend that you read the book to use this tool to its fullest. I used 3 envelopes as pockets. They have each of the big girl’s names as well as one labeled parents. The girls have 5 tickets with their names on them and they begin the day with ownership of all those tickets. We have a list next to each of their pockets reminding them of the behaviors that will cause them to lose a ticket. Because of age and capability our oldest has 4 things on her list and Middle Little has 2. We have our system placed in our toy/classroom area. It’s our most lived in space and I wanted it close at hand. When the kids have lost all of their tickets for the day they know that means they are grounded to their room and will be sent to bed directly after dinner. It takes some commitment, some clear communication between parents and a willingness to follow through, but it’s helping. We are a work in progress here at Clucky Central but I’m thankful for the guidance found in the book and can’t recommend it highly enough.
Although these two systems definitely don’t fall in the fun spectrum for the kids they do in a roundabout way enable us to have our Summer fun. When we treat each other and our home with respect we are free to go out and enjoy the world around us.
Are you experiencing the Summer I don’t wanna’s and Sibling Conflict? How are you handling it in your home?
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